themarkvolta
A-ROID’s Confession:
I seriously cannot believe the world is up in arms about 3 Time MVP MLB Star and current do-er of Madonna, Alex ”A-Roid” Rodriguez, getting caught using a certain Steroid called PED. “Getting caught” actually is a wrong choice of words. How about confessed, revealed, or admitted to, now those are more accurate. If you were one of those losers shocked when it was learned that A-Roid lied, then honestly I feel really really really sorry for you. You are still probably figuring out that our country is in a recession and ‘Slumdog Millionaire’ is not part two to ‘Marley and Me.’
I know we all wished we lived in a world where the sanctity of sports can go untainted but so sorry Planet Earth, not going to happen, not in today’s age. In my opinion, it is only a matter of time until we find out that even the Olympics are tarnished with ‘The Juice.’ Oh wait, that already happened. Remember when Marion Jones got 5 medals taken away last year because she needed a little ‘encouragement’ from her trainer too. Even rap stars like Dr. Dre, Wyclef, 50 Cent, Timbaland, and Mary J. Blige are onriods (and I don’t mean hemorrhoids people)! Rap stars, seriously, who is next Bret Michaels and Axl Rose??? This is getting to be quite laughable and regrettably depressing. This world needs, and has always needed, a hero, and we all used to look to athletes as children, even from children who were not quite that athletic. Shit, I sucked at basketball, but I really wanted to be “like Mike.” We all did!
I actually watched on Bill O’Reilly’s ‘O’Reilly Factor’ (please do not ask me why) a woman analyze A-Roid’s posture and eye contact during hisKatie Couric interview and specifically make the allegation that A-Roid is clearly lying. Clearly? Really? How can you tell Oh-wise lady on O’Reilly Factor? Did you know that if you stare too hard at your mark while answering a question, it is the same as having shifty eyes or looking to the ground while answering a question, basically the equivalent of lying.I did not know that. And neither did A-Rod according to this YouTube Clip below, when he clearly and blatantly lies about his Steroid usage.
Anyone who knows me knows that I, aside from being a loyal hometown Dodger fan, can really give two diddly-shits about baseball. First, I do not get why these over-paid gladiators even need steroids. Aside from chess, golf, pool, bowling, and poker, I would make the argument that baseball is the least stamina and endurance driven sport. All you do is get a stick, hit a ball, run some bases, catch a ball, touch a diamond-shaped white thing, score a run, and put a point on the board. I am not knocking the sport here, but come on, it isn’t like football, basketball, or hockey. These fuckers are always on the move and if anyone needs an edge first, I am sure it would be these guys (and I am sure some of them use them too). But really, all the performance you need is to clearly hit the fucking ball out of the fucking park, run the bases, and collect your check.
I do not know why, but images of our corrupt brothers on Wall Street flash through my head as I write this. I just look at steroids like golden parachutes; still get paid no matter who or what bails you out and even when your performance is at risk of being quite shitty. The steroid problem is another personification of what is wrong with the United States, or at least the government of the United States, or maybe the people and the irresponsible choices they made in the United States, or wars we start in parts of the world illegitimately sponsored by the United States. God, no wonder why the world hates us. We took the very thing, the very concept, that made this country so great, and exploited it. Exploited it? Hell, we practically raped it! What is this thing and concept I speak of? It is called, FREEDOM! It was because we were free and honorable people that we would never make decisions like taking America’s past time, something we invented, and making it a laughing stock in places like Japan and Central America, where talent is just organic and cannot be fucked with. Jackie Robinson along with all of our Founding Fathers would kick our spoiled Hot Pocket eating asses all over the block if they were alive today.
But the sad fact remains that I am not surprised that A-Roid and probably more than half the country’s greatest athletic stars are plainly cheating. It is cheating people, stop fooling yourselves. I am in consulting and sales professionally and the only way I could cheat is by lying. I do not lie. Ever. I could lie but I do not. This is a choice I make. Is it apathy that explains why I am not surprised? I do not know. Have I lost faith in Americans? Absolutely. Are they dumb, selfish, and undeserving of the very freedoms that they take for granted everyday? You are damn right they are. Am I a traitor to my country for saying such things? Some would argue yes probably. But unless we get back on track here, honestly this country is seriously fucked. Integrity is what separated us from the rest of the world, and honestly that well has run dry.
Next thing you know, Michael Phelps will probably get a huminatarian award for smoking weed instead of taking steroids. And in my opinion, he fucking deserves it. Weed is a NON-performance enhancing drug and he still won 8 gold medals. Or maybe A-Roid had this coming since he stole Madonna from Guy Ritchie. Sorry A-Roid, you don’t mow another man’s lawn. Karma sure is a bitch, isn’t she.
And now for your viewing pleasure, a song for A-Roid
Leave a Comment
No comments yet.
Comments RSS TrackBack Identifier URI
